Uso pa ba ang Harana?
Ehra Louise Guiwa | Maui High School, Class of 2028
Paniligaw is the act of traditional Filipino courtship, a process where the man attempts to woo the woman through acts of service, harana (serenade) and gifts to overall seek approval from her family and to emphasize himself as a suitable partner. This is a mutual understanding between both parties; if the woman does not view the man as a potential partner, she has the right to decline. The title for this month’s column, “Uso pa ba ang Harana?,” comes from the song Harana by the band Parokya ni Edgar. Through this song, I became aware of the world of paniligaw.
The modern dating scheme focuses on building relationships through digital platforms like Instagram. It uses labels to determine the status of affection towards one another, such as the talking stage or situationship. This leads to relationships forming quickly but ending just as easily. What makes paniligaw so special, which is vastly different from modern dating, is the building of a raw connection without the use of technology and, most importantly, the demonstration of a man’s character. As Valentine’s Day approaches, let us hear from our youth about their thoughts on paniligaw and how they express their love.
Khimberly Baniqued, a student at Lahainaluna High School, comments, “To me, paniligaw shows that someone is willing to be patient and put in consistent effort, not just for a few days, but over time.” Similarly, Khimberly relates this to her love language, Acts of Service. She explains “It is easy to say you care but it feels more real when you prove it through effort,” and it is the same amount of effort that makes paniligaw stand out to her. From simply checking in on someone you love or helping them feel less overwhelmed in their daily life, “it can communicate love in a way that words sometimes cannot.” Compared to modern dating, Khimberly expresses its flexibility yet its lack of commitment saying, “People can start talking quickly through social media and relationships can move forward without as much time spent proving commitment” but modern dating provides a way where either boy or girl can make the first move.
A student at Maui High School, Jaden Agpaoa, describes paniligaw as a way of true dedication and devotion. He says, “acts of paniligaw such as serenading can truly show the amount of effort that is put into relationships compared to modern-dating culture where I would say social media and online presence plays a big role in relationships.” Nowadays, the main form of communication amongst teenagers has become social media platforms instead of engaging in face-to-face conversations. To Jaden, “deep conversations or enjoying each other’s company” is a way he expresses his love language. Quality time is about “being present and showing attention” explains Jaden.
Baldwin High School student, Ceana Rayne Nerona, acknowledges the beauty in paniligaw, most especially, in harana (serenade). Ceana states, “Serenading is barely seen throughout modern culture…serenading to a woman is a definite situation of feelings and emotions poured into a song to win a girls heart.” Many songs in the Philippines and in America revolve around the topic of love whether it be longing for an individual or simply the feeling of being in love, yet it is very uncommon to see songs of love professed to another individual. She strongly emphasizes the involvement of family saying, “The idea of admitting to a lady along with their family, keeping in mind that their family is also a big part of the approval itself,” shows a vulnerable side of paniligaw. Compared to modern dating which takes out the surreal feeling making it seem as if “having a girlfriend is no big deal,” Ceana believes paniligaw creates deeper emotional feeling. Like Khimberly, Acts of Service is a way Ceana expresses her love.
“Even the corny gestures that make it feel sincere and intentional” is what makes paniligaw admired by Renier Santiago, a student at Maui High School. Renier says, “I show my love by genuinely caring for others and supporting them in any way I can.” Whether it be through quality time, acts of service or merely saying uplifting words is how Renier expresses his love. He does not bound himself to one love language but creates a mixture of all of them because love has no bounds. Modern dating heavily relies on the use of technology making it emotionally draining. Renier opens a new perspective by explaining the downside of using social media to form relationships. “Simple things start to affect how you feel about someone, like calling each other but sitting in silence or texting without warmth or effort, which can make you feel like they don’t care anymore.”
Through these student responses, one thing remains extremely clear: effort and intention matter! Love is such an incredible thing that can be expressed in numerous ways, paniligaw shows a unique and vulnerable side to our human nature, it emphasizes building connection by taking things slowly. Their responses show even if the way young people meet may evolve, people still desire genuineness. While late-night haranas under someone’s window have turned into face-time calls, expressions of love change with each generation. Although paniligaw is not as common as it used to be maybe it just needs a little push for our teenagers to give it a try.
Google® Is Not Everything…… is a monthly column authored by high school students. The column’s title emphasizes that education is more than just googling a topic. Google® is a registered trademark. This month’s guest columnist is Ehra Louise Guiwa, a Sophomore at Maui High School. She is the President of Sabers of Law (Maui High’s Mock Trial Club), one of the Executive Vice Presidents for Student Government, Historian in the Key Club, and a student of eskrima under Doce Pares Multi-Style Hawai‘i. Ehra Louise is in the Law and Public Safety pathway at Maui High and aspires to be a U.S senator. In her free time, she enjoys sewing, baking, volunteering at church, spending time with family and friends, and exploring. She is the only daughter of Merlyn Guiwa and Reymund Guiwa.