It’s the Season of Giving
Alfredo G. Evangelista | Assistant Editor | Photos courtesy Dulce Karen Butay
During the holidays, people commonly give or receive presents from family, friends, employees, clients, and customers. Kids enjoy receiving toys; teens love techy and the trendiest stuff; adults indulge in and exchange food and beverages. And yes, cold, hard cash is always appreciated.
But have you ever considered giving the gift of life to a complete stranger? Did you think you would be a match for someone in need?
For Dulce Karen Butay (yes, The Fil-Am Voice’s own Let’s Talk Pinoy! columnist) that happened this year.
Butay’s giving journey has been a long one. Back in October 2008, she was with her two daughters, ages 4 and 10, at the Maui Fair. “Keilah and Vanessa wanted to go through the corn maze,” Butay recalls. “I didn’t want to go through the corn maze so they went alone. Next to the maze was a booth called ‘Be The Match.’ I signed up and they swabbed my mouth.” Butay was informed she would be notified if she were a match. “I didn’t think I would be a match,” she says. “I think I received some kind of a giveaway.”
Twenty-five years later, Butay received a call at work from an out-of-state area code. “I wasn’t going to answer it because I saw the area code and I thought it was a spam call,” Butay shares. “I decided to take the call, thinking I would play along with the scammer.”
At the other end of the call, however, was Veronica from the National Marrow Donor Program, formerly known as Be The Match, and now known simply as NMDP, based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. “Veronica introduced herself and told me I was a match for a 55-year-old female with leukemia. She asked me if I was still willing to donate.” Veronica told her she was number two on the list.
“I said yes, even though I didn’t know what it meant or what I was really signing up for,” Butay admits. “I have always been a person who wanted to help others as soon as I am old enough. I never really expected to get a call to be a donor and have an opportunity to help and save a life. This year was a game-changer. I wanted to do something different for my birthday—to be the one to give a gift. So when I got the call, I said ‘yes’ right away.”
A year and a half later, in August 2024, Veronica called Butay again. “She told me I was now number one on the match list,” says Butay. “I was nervous because it was becoming a reality.”
Veronica began explaining the process, including the need to have some blood work done as well as a physical. Veronica explained NMDP would fly Butay with all expenses paid if there were no facilities on Maui or the rest of the state.
Veronica mentioned to Butay to start thinking of someone who would accompany her on the journey. “At that time, I wasn’t thinking of bringing anyone because I didn’t want my family to know about it,” Butay states. “I suspected my Mom would not approve of my donation. I thought I might bring Keilah who had joined the military but had not yet received her orders.”
On October 15, Butay was scheduled to fly to Oahu to do her blood work at Diagnostic Laboratory Services on Kapiolani Boulevard and to have a physical at the Kuakini Physician Tower. Butay almost did not make it to O‘ahu. She woke up too late and missed her 6:48 a.m. flight. It also meant she could not have the big breakfast she needed. So she stopped at the McDonalds on Pu‘unēnē Avenue and ordered a sausage McGriddle, a bacon and egg McGriddle, and a bagel with cream cheese. “I was able to get booked on the next flight,” Butay says and took a Lyft to her first destination. After providing the nurse with her paperwork, she asked Butay to wait five minutes so she could make sure she had all the necessary tubes. “The tubes were all color-coded,” Butay remembers, “and I counted about twenty tubes!”
Butay claims she has trypanophobia—fear of needles—so she looked away when the nurse asked if she was ready. The nurse told Butay she had a good vein. The process took about ten minutes. “It’s a lot of blood; it’s unending,” Butay thought. After it was done, the nurse made sure Butay was okay and told her she could stay for a while. Butay stayed for about five minutes, and for the third time, refilled her 32 oz Hydroflask. Butay then proceeded to get her physical where her vitals were checked as well as her veins, arms, and back.
A few days later, Veronica called Butay for a more extensive telephone interview—asking her questions about her medical history, as well as whether she was a prior bone marrow donor or whether she had recently traveled out of the country. The donation date was set for November 11, lessening the number of workdays Butay would have to miss.
“I think the recipient’s health caused a delay,” says Butay “so it was rescheduled to November 26.” The rescheduling, however, required Butay to get another blood test to ensure her blood remained okay. This time, the lab collected only two vials and she did not need to travel to O‘ahu.
“I was also asked to do a pregnancy test on November 11 and it was negative,” explains Butay. “I did another one on November 18 which was also negative.”
Several days later Veronica sent Butay a link to the website detailing what happens when one donates bone marrow. She reviewed the information. “Now I’m getting nervous because of all the disclosures of risks and side effects such as nausea, diarrhea, headaches, muscle pain, etc.,” she confides, “To me, it’s becoming real.”
After work, Butay went to Longs to buy over-the-counter meds to help with the side effects of the injection. “I’m in there for over an hour looking at my options,” Butay shares. “I had to choose between capsules, gel, coated, liquid, etc. I bought a whole bunch. It was scary to me because I don’t take a lot of medications.”
As part of the preparation, Butay would receive a series of injections. “The first injection date was Friday, November 21,” recalls Butay. “A nurse came to my office and she checked my blood pressure. Because I had taken the stairs, it was a little high so I had to wait a little. I had a choice of location–arm or tummy; I chose tummy.” Butay would receive two shots of filgrastim which stimulates the bone marrow to create more blood-forming cells and move them from the marrow into the bloodstream where they could be collected. “The nurse was really good,” says Butay. “She pinched me so I didn’t feel the needle.”
For the next injection, Butay was at the weekend Maui Swap Meet selling her products–Maui Balsamic Vinegar. The nurse met her in the parking lot; Butay’s blood pressure was a little high due to her walking to the parking lot. “That night, I had trouble sleeping,” Butay admits. “I woke up two or three times with a little back pain. I had to take some extra strength (1000 mg) Tylenol.”
On Sunday, the nurse met Butay at her home but again, Butay’s blood pressure was high. “I took out the trash that morning, saw some weeds in the yard, and started pulling them out. I saw the nurse arrive and then I ran into the house to get ready.” An hour after the injections, Butay had a headache.
The fourth and final shot was on November 25, the date of her departure. “My blood pressure was high again,” explains Butay. “A bird came into the house and got the dogs excited. I had to calm the two dogs and shoo the bird out.”
The excitement, however, did not end there. Butay had asked her co-worker Jasmine HueSing-Ammasi to be her traveling companion. At the airport, HueSing-Ammasi’s last name was incorrect and airline staff needed to correct it. But when they arrived at the gate in Honolulu, they learned the flight segment for HueSing-Ammasi between Honolulu and Seattle was canceled. They had ten minutes to fix it. “I called Veronica,” Butay says. “She had to call the travel agent to book another reservation on the same flight for Jasime. I was so mad at the airlines. We were the very last folks to get inside the plane.”
A private transport (Black Cadillac) met them at the Seattle airport and whisked them away to their hotel which was forty minutes away. The only restriction for dinner was no alcohol which was not a problem for Butay. “I don’t drink anyways.”
Butay woke up the next morning at 5:30 a.m. “I was nervous,” Butay admits. “Because of all the symptoms, the time of the procedure was going to be between four and six hours. And the nurse on Maui—who was a donor herself—told me the needles would be twice the size of a regular needle.”
Butay was scheduled to be at MMDP’s facility on Stewart Street in downtown Seattle at 7 a.m. but was told not to be early. Butay arrived at 7:20 a.m. (By 7:15 a.m., the facility was texting her to see if she was going ahead with the procedure but Butay did not see the text.) Upon arrival, they began prepping her; her blood pressure was high again. “I was nervous as the day of donation had arrived.”
Nurse Anthony told me if they were not able to extract the white cells, they would need to go to plan B, which would require flying to Chicago to scrape bone marrow. “I said to myself, I didn’t want to do plan B because it would be painful.” (Butay learned from the nurse on Maui—a donor herself—the scraping is painful but the Maui nurse did it to help a four-year-old.) Butay learned there was an ultrasound machine to locate veins, which they used on her left arm. By 8:05, Butay was ready and HueSing-Ammasi was brought into the room.
The procedure started and Butay was given a rubber ball to squeeze in her right hand. “I had to squeeze the ball every time the machine beeped,” explains Butay. “I squeezed the ball one time every five to ten minutes. I was awake the whole time. We watched the movie Queen Pins via Netflix.”
Throughout the process, the nurse would check on Butay’s blood pressure and take samples to make sure the white cells and platelets were okay. “I felt no pain at all,” says Butay. “But at about 9:45 a.m., the nurse came in and said ‘You’re almost done.’ I was surprised because the procedure normally lasts between four to six hours and I thought I could watch three movies.”
Butay was unhooked from the machines and assessed to make sure she was okay. After checking her vitals, the nurse reported Butay was able to produce 83.3 mpv of platelets. They only needed to collect 20 mpv so they harvested 63.3 mpv more which the nurse noted was a lot.
“Donation day was a reflective and life-changing experience,” Butay says. “I watched, even though I have hemophobia (fear of blood), as the blood stem cells that could change a life filled the bag. It was pain-free, easy, and rewarding.”
After the 10:30 a.m. discharge, Butay felt well enough to do a little sightseeing including Seattle’s famous Pike’s Market where they observed salmon being tossed around. In between Butay rested and thought about the recipient. “I hoped that person would make it. If her body rejected, then what?” she thought.
An hour later, Butay received a text informing her they were beginning the process. “The cells are already infused with the patient,” the text stated. “Later that day, they called to make sure I was okay,” says Butay. She returned to Maui in time for the Thanksgiving holiday. She will have a number of phone consultations to ensure she is okay. For an entire year, Butay’s bone marrow is reserved for the recipient. Thereafter, Butay’s name will be returned to the list to become a donor again. “It was an exciting feeling to know that I can give a 55-year-old female an extra time to live and enjoy life. If I get another call, I will do it again,” states Butay.
The rules do not permit Butay to contact the recipient. “I can only write a general letter to her,” she says, “without providing any identification. I can only write a letter to provide comfort. Later, if she wants to contact me, it’s her choice.” Butay is interested in establishing contact in the future. “I want to make sure she made it.”
“We all have the potential to save a life,” Butay emphasizes. “It starts with joining the registry and saying ‘Yes’ to donating blood stem cells. Take the first step today. It only takes a simple swab to get started.”
Assistant Editor Alfredo G. Evangelista is a graduate of Maui High School (1976), the University of Southern California (1980), and the University of California at Los Angeles School of Law (1983). He is a sole practitioner at Law Offices of Alfredo Evangelista, A Limited Liability Law Company, concentrating in estate planning, business start-up and consultation and nonprofit corporations. He has been practicing law for 41 years (since 1983) and returned home in 2010 to be with his family and to marry his high school sweetheart, the former Basilia Tumacder Idica.